The 66th Emmy Awards were held in Los Angeles today.
Or was it a period drama?
There were more full circle skirts on that red carpet than the garden party scene in Gone With The Wind.
We saw the usual nude, usual shiny, mermaid tails, mermaid curls, Sofia Vegara’s bottom…here’s a look at the good, the cool and the better luck next time.
Good Enough To Eat.
Occasionally, a girl and a gown collide like flavours in a cake – and the results are just delicious.
Sarah Hyland, you and your Christian Siriano gown, are as perfect as a rose water macaroon eaten on a white cashmere blanket on the lawns of Versailles.
In the summer.
We’ve All Done This.
I’m going to get slammed for saying I don’t like Lena Dunham’s look because it’s incredibly uncool not to love everything Lena does.
But here, she looks like a doll on top of a toilet roll.
A mistake many of us have made.
Haven’t you ever worn a tutu out of the house and regretted it?
Lord knows I have. And I’ve never learnt. I’m a repeat tutu offender.
I’ve tutu’d where no other tutu has dared to go.
We can all learn from Lena’s Giambattista Valli meringue just as we have from her sage comedy: tutu’s over the age of ten are always a bad idea.
Even when worn ironically with a wife beater shirt, tattoos and a killer rock star boyfriend.
I’d watch her sleep off a hangover.
Thus is my love for anythig Kristin Wiig turns her hand to.
She’s struggled to find her red carpet vamp in awards shows past but this year she took on the three bastions of sexy and won.
Satin, thigh split, white – smashed it like a plate.
Back Boom Boom.
Sometimes a dress is a little like a mullet cut: business in the front and party in the back.
Or another way of saying it: sometimes a dress is really ugly in the front and a hell of lot better from behind.
So it was with the Taylor Schilling, Julianna Margulies and Claire Danes.
All three frocks did little for their sensational wearers until the ladies pulled a ‘back to camera, hands on hips, tilt head over the shoulder and down’ pose and then, quicker than you can say Jazzy Jeff , it was all…boom, boom, shake the back of the freaking room.
This is Crazy Eyes. One of the more psychotic inmates from the genius Orange Is The New Black.
Uzo Aduba poured herself into this red column, proving in one well-placed dress choice, that she is a) a great character actress and B) smoking hot.
The Oldest Trick In The Book.
Red…on the red carpet…how thrilling!
Edging out the standard issue jade and nude was this years colour du jour - rouge.
Fire engine, cherry, tomato, shouty…every shade of red you can think of and then a few more.
It was as though stylists all around the globe said to their clients: “I’m really feeling red. You’re going to absolutely crush it, if you wear red”.
What like a ladybug?
Loved Guiliana Ranic in Gusto Cadile and a much more conservative Heidi Klum in Zac Posen but generally red has the same effect on me as white bread after 11pm.
Navy Smokey Eye.
Kerry Washington wore a sexy coral Prada dress and accessorised it with this navy blue, smokey eye.
It goes to straight to Number One as the beauty look to copy from this years Emmy’s.
Try it this Friday night.
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Floral print frocks are never, ever going to quit. They will adorn red carpets as long as actresses insist on wearing them.
It always makes me uneasy seeing a dress that has the same amount of fabric in it as a couch but when done right, floral can be as lovely as its natural muse.
This navy and white Peter Som gown was one of Julie Bowen’s best ever carpet moments and Louise Roe looked pretty and British in Monique Lhullier. Betsy Brandt has been binned for her full, floral gown but I think she looks sweet.
I means, her name is Betsy. She was born with the right to rock floral and full.
Simple Is As Simple Does.
She was robbed.
There will be no bad words said about Robin Wright.
She is perfection and this Ralph Lauren jumpsuit is the reason they invented words like elegance, grace and simplicity.
Long live the Princess Bride.
Coulda, shoulda, woulda…
That’s what Kate, Teyonah and Catherine are telling their cheeseburgers and beer as I type.
Next year. There is always that.