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March 5th, 2018

Lessons In Style: Oscars Edition

In the wake of #metoo and other important movements,  I have gone back and forth on whether red carpet commentary is right.

Or even relevant anymore?

I have always tried to write about the dress not the woman and not stray far from the light, funny side of fashion.

So, here we go with the best of the red carpet wrap from the 90th Academy Awards.

Warrior Princess Vibes.

Sexy, strong and perfect under lights.

Jennifer Lawrence in 70’s inspired Dior, Lupita N’yungo utterly breataking  in Versace,  Sandy Bullock (welcome back!) doing it spectacularly for the over 50’s in Louis Vuitton and Gal Gadot looking flapperiffic (sorry, that was a step to far) in Givenchy.

Muted metallic and chain mail coming to your closet soon.

Seriously. This.

If she looked any fresher she would be a newborn.

The smile, the bendy bob, the custom Chanel to match the new Chanel contract..Margot Robbie is putting the Monroe back in Hollywood.

And her mum Sarie is equally #banging.


Off The Rack.

Most stars wear custom couture.

But then most stars don’t look like Zendaya.

And most can’t wear seventeen layers of brown organza either.

Direct from the Giambattista Valli runway in all its floaty glory and straight onto the best (body) dressed list.

Hell Yes.

This is everything an Oscar gown should be.

From the dreamy shade of pink to the perfectly pointed (covered to match) shoe.

The silhouette is old Hollywood (Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend anyone) but the wearer is young and cool.

Soarise Ronan…you’re putting Ireland on the fash map.

A sentence I thought I would never write. 

Hell No.

A quick word Blanca Blanco.

Last year your gown was so high cut that you flashed your vagina on the red carpet.

And yet…THIS dress was you solution to that moment?

Dreams (Can) Come True.

Allison Williams posted this shot of herself as a child on Instagram before the ceremony.

It was captioned: If you’ll permit me a little sentimentality…I‘ve been thinking a lot lately about this little goofball (who already knew she wanted to be an actress – obvi) and how unbelievably excited she would be if somehow she knew that she would go to the Oscars when she grew up. That her first movie would be nominated for Best Picture. And, most importantly, that she gets to make a living doing the thing that makes her happiest in the world. She dreamed about it all, and now it’s happening. I can’t thank my little girl self enough for continuing to dream big – and for always having a style that I would classify as “permanent dress-up.”


I should love this Louis Vuitton satin suit.

And at a restaurant on Saturday night I absolutely would.

But this is the Oscars, and you Emma Stone are presenting the award for Best Actor.

It looks like you forgot. Or don’t give a fuck.


UpCycling Anita.


Ok by me in America. Everything free in America.

Including this dress.

Rita Moreno, who celebrated her 86th birthday in December, recycled the dress she wore 56 years ago when she won an Oscar for her role as Anita in West Side Story.

She just switched up the neckline and added long velvet gloves.  

How freaking modern.

She said to People: “It’s been hanging in my closet and I go and stroke it now and then. I just love — it was an amazing night, and they didn’t have a red carpet then, it was so different.”

The Lawrence Effect.

It’s like flipping burgers for Jennifer Lawrence.

Cue cool, covetable Dior dress.

Cue cool, covetable hair style.

Now stare down the camera through those long lashes and perfectly smoked eyes and then do something quirky that’s instantly meme-able.

Like climb over the Oscar seat with a glass of wine in your hand.


White Done Right.

No brides here.

Exhibit: Laura Dern, Jane (Fucking) Fonda and Mary J. Blige.

This is what white on a red carpet should look like 

No tulle, no trains, no tiaras…you’ve been schooled.


Bow Down.


Nicole Kidman’s best Oscar gown moments have been delivered via a giant bow.

Her red Balenciaga gown from 2007 has become iconic and this cobalt blue Armani Prive is set for the same status.

It’s looks a little like something Jane Jetson would have worn but the tailoring is so next level that it can only sit on the best dressed list.


Squint and they’re the same person.

Allison Janney in Reem Acra and Meryl Streep in Christian Dior are ruby red twins.

Also the only two women in Hollywood who wouldn’t give a rats.

Then There Was…


Hayley Bennet – fire everyone immediately.

You look like you’ve been shoved inside a hedgehog.


Jennifer Garner you are beautiful

This dress however is not.

You must have hated it when Nicole showed up and showed everyone how cobalt blue should be worn in 2018 on women over 40.

This was you in Alias.

Season one.


Cute and funny as you absolutely are Kelly Rippa…you are also too close to an actual Disney Princess to wear a dress like this.

It looks like it comes direct from the ‘Frozen’ merch line.













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